Who Are You Doing It For?

I have to confess a little something…I am an AVID trash tv watcher! The Bravo channel is on my frequently watched tv list (when I have down time) and I love the Housewives and all the other little dramas on that channel! So, as I curled up with a glass of wine one night this past week, after a long day at work and then a tough workout to relieve the stress, you can imagine that I was ready to soak in all of the mess that was happening on one of my favorite weekly shows.

To my surprise, however, I stopped for a moment in my own thoughts during one of the skits, as one of the girls made a comment about why she works out. Her remark was something to the effect of…I do these workouts 6 days a week, sometimes twice. Have you seen my finance…I have to keep up with that!

Over the past 51 years of my life, I know I was probably just as naïve about my body as well. I know I had times when I thought…let me just skip a few meals so I can look as good as so and so when we are at the beach this weekend. But, let me tell you my friends, I learned the hard way, this is not the mindset to have when it comes to improving yourself! Which makes me ask…who are you doing it for?

If your answer to that question is anything other than…for me…I ask you to reflect and reframe your thoughts. I know, I know…there are so many pressures on women to look a certain way…especially when it comes to their body…and we have discussed these many times. But, I learned throughout my years, when I was doing something to make change because of someone else’s opinion or thoughts of me, I ended up not only not making the change sustainable, but resenting that person in the long run.

As you can probably tell, there was a time in my life that I wanted to please everyone…yes, a chronic people pleaser! I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted everyone to think I was the best. I wanted everyone to “be my friend”. Over the years, I realized that thinking in this manner was very exhausting! And, it truly contributed to me losing myself in my own life…because by that point, I did not know what I wanted for myself!

As you process through your own world, and think about what it is you want out of your life, I offer these three tips:

  • YOU do YOU! Determine what you want for yourself…not what anyone else wants for you. Live your life in a way that you want to wake up each day and live it!
  • Cut out the noise. It is hard to determine what is right for you when too many people are in your head. Spend quiet time reflecting on your wants and needs so that you can put a plan in action that makes sense for you. If you do seek out others’ opinions, use them as input, not as the absolute answer for your life. They are not you…what works for them may or may not be what is best for you.
  • Give yourself a little grace. If you determine a plan and your next steps, and part way through it begins to not feel right, change it. It is OK to do this! Every day is an opportunity for us to create the life we want…and change the plan as often as is needed. Even the “fabulous” people you see on social media who seem to have it all, go through this same thing! I promise!

You are fabulous and you definitely deserve to live life any way you want, unapologetically! Go out there…be you…and enjoy your days! Life is too short to do anything for anyone other than you! Until next time! Cheri ❤️

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