Happy Mother’s Day everyone! I had an amazing day…and I HOPE you did as well!
My journey to motherhood was not your typical one! At 16 years old, I believed I would probably never marry, and never have children. I knew I wanted to teach, but the great thing about teaching is that when the day is over…you send them HOME! At 19, surprise! I was a mom! And…from the moment I saw her face, I was absolutely in LOVE! She has made me the best version of me…and I love the title of Mom!
My own childhood was very untraditional, and if anyone asked, my relationship with my own biological mother was not ideal. Yes, I had other mother figures who came into my life and helped me be the strong woman I am, but I cannot credit my own mother. So, it will not surprise anyone that I did not aspire to this role. But when I was put in the role, also not surprising to my closet people, I was only going to do it to the best of my ability! Am I the BEST mom…well, I am human so…I have made my fair share of mistakes, but I have learned a few things along the way…and I think I have done a pretty good job of being the world’s “OKAYEST” mom! And that makes me proud!
Let me share a few lessons I have learned along the way!
- It is ok to not know how to do everything! Let me tell you, my kid is pretty perfect! She is funny, smart, kind, and just a well rounded human. And, I did not always know how I raised this human to be so great! But, I know, I did my best. If I did not know how to do something, I asked those around me…and although I knew I did not just want to be that person who was giving me advice, I took what they said and made it my own.
- Kids don’t get to make the rules. As we sat and had dinner tonight, I was definitely reminded of this. We as adults have to take the responsibility for the life we are making for our kids. It is ok to mess up, but just take responsibility. The line tonight was, “well, you chose to sit outside”, as the 4 year old was complaining of the heat and wind on the restaurant patio. Really? The 4 year old made this decision? I won’t continue to dwell on this, but I learned early on, my child is a child. She needed to be guided and molded into a person who learned to make decisions, but she did not make them before she was ready!
- Let them try new things! I had a hard time with this…I will admit! I wanted my kid to experience everything I did not get to in life…and in feeling this way, I probably “encouraged” her to choose things that I wanted her to do. I had to finally realize, she isn’t me, and if she wanted to do something I would never dream of doing, it is OK! Let them! They will never know what they love about life if they cannot experience it!
- And, my hardest lesson….and until recently, I still over protected my child…even at the age of 31! Let them experience a productive struggle! Kids need to learn that not everything is going to work out for them…as much as this kills us on the inside…and they have to learn how to recover from these set backs! If we always protect them and fix everything for them, how do they become problem solvers in life? The answer is…they don’t! And they will want you to fix everything for them for the rest of their lives. Productive struggle is not a bad thing….and I have finally learned this. And, happy to report, my child is productively problem solving every day successfully since I have learned my lesson! 😊
I have done a lot of fabulous things in my life! I also say, I feel pretty successful in most of them! Being a mom has been one of my most joyous experiences in life! I love my girl more than anything in the world, and I am so very grateful for all of the hard work and support I have been able to show her so that she can now be the best human I know today! I have also learned how important the role of parent is and just how much power we have on the outcome of our children’s lives. It is a serious job…and I would not change it for the world! Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there…not matter what your role is in your child’s life! Until next time! ❤️Cheri