Happy New Year, everyone! Social media has been blowing up with so many posts about how a new year is like a new chapter of a book…making each year such a great time to reflect on the year 365 days and make changes to live your best life in the year ahead! I have always believed that as we progress through life, it is so important to plan your life, reflect on your progress, and adjust as needed! And, the new year is the perfect opportunity to do this!
As you have probably read here in my blog, I married my high school boyfriend young….married for 19 years….and then divorced. I had not had opportunities to live alone, navigate through life alone, nor did I learn how to handle the “noise” of being alone. It was a very hard time for me, especially the first few (ok, 10) years. Looking back now, I can definitely admit that I was angry, depressed, anxious, and had a very hard time moving forward because I just basically hated the world. I learned to hide this fact pretty well and most people would not have even realized this. I played like I was having the best life ever…and even went through all of the rituals in life…hoping to eventually find that I could feel normal again.
Well, it took time, but I really had to stop and give myself a little “come to Jesus” talk…and set myself right. I had to remind myself that as long I continued in this manner, I would not grow…and I would not probably ever feel better. That was the moment that I committed to myself to take care of me…find me and invent the person I was to become. And, of course, the timing was not perfect, as it was also the time the world went crazy and COVID hit! But, I had committed to this transformation and I wasn’t about to disappoint myself again.
What did I do? Well in my true fashion, I made a plan.
- First, I sat down and generated my list of things I loved about my life, things I could live with, and things that I could not do (or pretend to do) anymore. This took a minute and a lot of truthful thought, but it sure gave me a starting point to find my new direction.
- I had to also identify and embrace my fears. And, yes, there were a lot of them! I was afraid of commitment, afraid of disappointment, afraid of setbacks, and basically afraid of failing! I had to learn why I developed these fears, as prior to my world crumbling, I wasn’t really afraid of anything!
- Then, I had to plan how I would reinvent myself! This was the fun, but also challenging part! I created goals, timelines, and milestones for celebration (although the celebrations were small and only shared with select few people in my world).
- And, finally, I put everything into action! The more progress I made, the more normal I began to feel…but I am not going to lie…it was definitely a new normal! A normal that I liked a whole lot better! And, a normal that felt like I could once again, accomplish anything I set my mind to.
Were there hurdles? Were there setbacks? Absolutely! Especially, as I mentioned, we were also in the mist of the pandemic. Everyone and everything around me felt very pessimistic! The news…social media…conversations with family, friends, and my employees. How do you stay optimistic in a world that was falling apart….and everyone felt it? It wasn’t easy…but that is how I absolutely know that I have finally found myself and I am ready for my future!
It is a new year…2022! It is a great time to write your new life, or make those adjustments to make your life your best one ever! My advice…take the time to reflect. Really look at YOU (not your family, your spouse, your partner) and determine how YOU can make yourself the best version of you. Then, make your plan and work your plan. Celebrate your milestones and don’t be too hard on yourself when you experience setbacks…you are human after all! And….turn off the news! Limit your social media time….surround yourself with people who understand your plan and will support you! Set yourself up for success!
I am excited for my new adventures of 2022 and beyond….as I am anticipating some really great ones! I am also excited to hear about your journey….your transformation into becoming your BEST YOU! Until next time! 🙂